By ROBERTO QUINONES
McLean, VA – In an unprecedented move to increase the employability of Hispanic journalists with heavy accents, UNIDY Journalists for Divercity and the DC chapter of Hispanic Toastmasters will be starting seminars to train journalists to speak in British/Australian/South African accents.
It is being touted as the “Gringo Lingo Initiative,” planners said.
From VIAGRA commercials to satirical news shows, the obvious trend is that Hispanic accents are becoming passé and British sounding accents are in. “There are only so many Nespresso ads (which Penelope has locked up anyway) and even Sophia is scaling back her accent in her glamor ads,” stated the incoming chair of the Ricardo Montalban Fan Club. “Hell, even the replacement Ginsu knives salesman is faking it, and don’t get me started on fake SNL Latinas or the new Daily Show guy.”
Social media backlash has been increasing about various DC area Latina newscasters who, while speaking perfect English while reporting, pronounce their name in Spanish. “Yeah, let me know who is bitching about Katty Kay’s accent?? NO ONE,” retorted one former Latina WTOP journalist.
Initial sessions will be held at the Australian Embassy which will provide free Vegemite sandwiches to help twist Latino palates into the required new contortions.
HAPPY APRIL FOOL’S DAY!!!